My exbf left a message over Fathers Day weekend that I should call if I wanted to talk. I didn’t, so the call wasn’t returned, but I started thinking about why I didn’t want to talk and that kinda morphed into one of those aha moments…..and I’m overdue blogging one of those.
I choose male companions based on what they do, not who they are.
It started when I really wanted a date for a Jr High Sadie Hawkins dance. Of course, that means the girl has to ask the guy – so my few friends were kind enough to scope out who would be willing to say yes if I asked….and that’s how I ended up with my first “real” boyfriend. I think it lasted about three weeks – I was tired of getting teased about having a dork boyfriend…..not that I wasn’t a dork myself but I desperately wanted to be accepted by the cooler kids.
Then there was the time in highschool where I stole someones boyfriend just long enough to get a date for Homecoming (and a couple of hickies). Fortunately they got back together , and ended up married…hopefully still happily so.
Let me interject that my ex-husband was an exception – he was a wonderful, sensitive, understanding man – we just “got caught” which meant we had to get married much too young and just grew in different directions. That said, I have to admit he had his own car……and a relatively new one, which made him quite a catch at the time ;).
After my separation there was the guy who loved clubs and didn’t mind dancing and adored gambling….which mean I got to spend a lot of time in Atlantic City…and I dealt blackjack for local charity games. And he was OK with me having joint custody of a little kid…..we even took him along on some of our adventures (but never to the casino).
Time passed, and there were a couple of guys with boats (including the ex I refer to on occasion), one with a canoe, three with motorcycles(including two Harley owners , and a few that liked to two step.
But ironically, I don’t recall any of them sharing my passion for travel……or the internet….or even my politics….we just didn’t discuss anything “serious”.
My son talked to me a bit about his former girlfriend/current wife, and it was very clear that not only do they have shared interests in politics, music, gaming and a host of other things – they also had discussed and were in agreement as far as building a family and a long term future.
Now, trying to be objective about all of this – it looks as if I never really took dating as a “tryout for a lifetime commitment” – rather it was just finding someone that I was attracted to that could teach me something new….or give me access to something I was craving.
So I’m wondering……when the rest of you were dating – what were you looking for?
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