I was lost, but now maybe I'm found

So, I stopped blogging.  There's lots of excuses for not blogging like a lack of an audience, or its been replaced by facebook, or just that there was nothing interesting going on in my life.  But they are excuses, not reasons. It all comes down to not being able to deal with stuff - or at least not dealing with it well enough to want to share.

Granted, FB has made a large difference in that I communicate constantly with my real life and online friends, so I don't need to blog to keep them up to date.  And neither Multiply nor Blogger have done anything to expand my audience (to be fair, I haven't been looking for one either), so there hasn't been the need to blog for anyone except myself.

And frankly, its all very scary for me......so I go to my standard practice of ignoring which equates to eventually forgetting. 

Forgetting is actually a very good coping mechanism until I'm reminded about an event and then its just plain creepy that I can't remember.  My son made mention the other night about how my father was mean when he was drunk. You know, I honestly don't remember that at all....but I trust that my son does, and it makes me regret some of the choices that I made as a parent.  But then again, I was young and didn't have much money, and quite honestly  -  there  are always tradeoffs in life.  I wish I remembered it all better so that I felt more sure that the decisions I made then were the  best ones I could.

But it looks like I'm going to have to start dealing with things that I'd happily buried  - so hang on - it could be a rough ride.....