December 29th - Lesson learned......

Occasionally I have an "aha" moment that I like  to blog so that I remember the lessons learned.  Maybe you can relate to them - and if not, maybe you'll eventually find yourself in a similar situation and I can save you some of the angst associated with learning the hard way (smile).

Although we missed the storm we've had a lot of wind lately, so Monday morning I checked out back to make sure nothing had blown away.  I discovered that my hot tub cover was half off......and that disturbed me because how on earth could I have forgotten to put the cover back down the last time I got out of the tub - which happened to be Saturday rather than Sunday anyhow so who knows how much electricity I'd wasted.....and what was up with me not remembering something that important......and I hadn't been feeling quite right lately....could it be that there was something seriously wrong....was I losing my memory....ARGHHHHH.

Anyhow - last night I got home and decided to check and see if the tub had heated up enough to use.....and the cover was flipped again.

So I'd wasted all that worry thinking there was something wrong with my brain when the problem had nothing to do with me at all....it was just those high winds getting up under the edge of the cover.  (This time I weighted it down with some firewood).

Seems I have a tendency to jump to the conclusion that when bad things happen, it must be my own fault.

Now, its one thing to take responsibility for my mistakes, make things right when I can, and hopefully learn something from the experience.

But its entirely different to think that the world and everyone in it is particularly concerned with you. 

It isn't, and they aren't.

For example, if I ask someone to do me a favor and they say no - it doesn't mean they don't like me or are angry with me.....it probably has nothing at all to do with me.  Perhaps they are too busy, perhaps they are uncomfortable with what I've asked, perhaps I just caught them at a bad time.

But because I take any "no" as a personal rejection, I'll qualify even my most important requests with phrases like "if you have a chance", or "It would be nice if you". 

How is someone supposed to know that I really NEED some help if I don't use that word in my request?

I'm getting better at the whole "fear of rejection" thing, but I've still got a long way to go.  Small steps, though. 

Mick Jagger said it best, I think:

You can't always get what you want - but if you try sometimes,  you get what you need.

Mick, Keith, and Charlie have been playing together since 1962 - that's incredible.....